Love yourself as much as you want to be loved.
OK, so what comes after self-acceptance? Being kind towards yourself.
Once you know who you are and what you have to offer to the universe, I need you to focus on the way that you treat yourself.
You have no idea how many times I will take a picture with someone and the first thing they say is, “OMG! You can’t post that, I look hideous!” Now, this is just the things we say out loud, imagine what we say in the privacy of our minds.
It’s OK to have a bad day and feel a little bit down in the dumps, what’s not OK is to walk around self-deprecating yourself every chance you get.
Be kind to yourself because how you treat yourself will set the tone for how others will treat you.
How do you want to be loved?
If you are married, in a relationship, or single, I am sure you have an idea of how you would like your significant other to treat you. If you don’t, perhaps you can start thinking about it to help you figure out what your individual needs are.
For example, do you like to feel appreciated? Would you rather receive a gift or receive verbal affirmation? Do you like love letters or do you prefer to just spend some quality time? Every person gives and receives love differently. It’s important for you to know what your type of love language is (take this free quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/)
Once you know what your needs are you can start meeting them. We don’t have to wait for someone else to show us love, make us feel worthy, or validate who we are.
Write yourself little love notes, buy yourself flowers, take yourself out on a date.
Take Care of Your Inner Child
This is something that I have been mindful of lately. I think we all have an inner child. Some psychologists would even argue that most of us experienced things as children which affect the way we view and react to the world around us today. If our needs weren’t met as children we may be distrustful of those around us.
One of the ways that you can take care of your inner child is by practicing compassionate self talk.
Imagine a small child, say 5 or 6, coming to you and showing of their new outfit. Would you respond with, “oh… you look terrible in that? Look at that mid-section!” I am pretty sure that we would not.
Now, imagine that 5 or 6 year old being you. What would you tell them if they felt a bit self-conscious about their outfit?
You are a precious soul at 5, 25, 35, 45, or 55… I mean it does not matter what age you are you still need to be compassionate and kind towards yourself. Whenever you find yourself thinking or saying mean things about your appearance, your abilities, or your personality, just stop to think about what you really need to hear and be patient with yourself because you are still growing.